The Girl With Pigtails
It was Friday. And I was joking around with one of my work-friends. Work-friends are people who act like they would give you a kidney between the hours of 9 and 5, but after 5:01 PM – they pretend not...
View ArticleType Faster
No one has ever applauded me at a meeting. That is probably because I make a point to avoid them. I mean how the hell should I know how meetings work? I don’t go. [Note to self: Look this up on Google....
View ArticleGive Everything
I am not sure what I’m doing in New York in the middle of a hurricane. Hurricane Sandy. This ranks pretty high on my list of Dumb-Things-I-Do-Because-I-Need-To-Live-With-Someone-Who-Is-Not-Bonkers....
View ArticleIt Happens All the Time
Sigh. What’s with all the “work” at work?! I try to make at least 10% [and by that, I mean 30%] of the day “chat time.” It’s good for the soul – and totally productive, in a non-productive kind of way....
View ArticleEscape From Thanksgiving Alcatraz
“Who is coming to the Christmas party?,” my boss asked in the last meeting. [Honestly, can we just focus on one painful charade - I mean holiday - at a time? Thanksgiving isn't even over, for...
View ArticleDoing Crap That Worked in 2012
I don’t understand people who brag about working all day at work. What for? “I was up until 2 a.m.” or “I never take lunch,” they say. Whatever, dude. At 2 a.m. my cat is sleeping on my neck. And at...
View ArticleHow Hard Could It Be?
It’s a teeny tiny hole. That’s it. Who knew a teeny tiny hole could be such a huge pain in my ass? “See it? Right there,” the forensic engineer from my insurance company is pointing to a microscopic...
View ArticleSomething So Foul
“He’s trying to usurp my power,” CollickyBaby declares when I walk into her office like an idiot. [Ugh!] Apparently, someone ignored CollickyBaby at a meeting – and it’s been bothering her for a month....
View ArticleThe Question Game
Napkins. I don’t have them. I just don’t. Why is that a thing? Napkins seem like one of those extras. Something you have, but can live without. Like a change purse. Or that felt tomato my grandma once...
View ArticleDon’t Feed The Animals
Cats believe in retribution. And they’re not screwing around. They know all of your weaknesses and they will use them against you. Forget to the clean the litter box? They shit right next to it. Put...
View Article